What to do?  It’s 1 a.m.  You just came back from the bars and you’re hungry.  You’re quite sure you won’t make it up before actual breakfast hours, so, why not make a midnight breakfast?  Before getting into the details of this late hour recipe, I should add a disclaimer:

Disclaimer: I was sober when I did this.  You could probably get by with 1-5 drinks and still complete this recipe.  With each drink over 5 drinks, the toast gets a bit more burned, the eggs get a bit drier, unless you’ve completely forgotten to crack the shell open.

Here’s what you do: warm up your favorite frying pan.  Once it’s a bit warm, pour some oil (or use butter, more below) and crack 2-3 eggs into the pan.  Since it’s midnight we don’t want to get too involved with chopping up onions, peppers etc.  I would suggest chopping up half a tomato and adding that for some variety.  Otherwise, grab a wooden spoon and just keep mixing stuff around.  We’re going for an egg scramble since it’s easy and hard to screw up, provided you don’t pass out on your kitchen floor.

When you take the eggs off is a key moment.  You want to wait till they’re almost completely done, but you’ll still wonder whether they are raw or not.  They’re not really raw, they’re just waiting to complete being cooked, and this is when you take them off, as they’ll be done by the time you’re forking them into your mouth.

Brown a couple pieces of whole wheat toast and bring your favorite pure fruit spread (I go for ones that have less than 5 ingredients, with fruit and sugar *always* the top two ingredients).  I’d also suggest bringing along your favorite hot sauce.  I discovered Valencia hot sauce in Mexico recently and it’s got a great, hearty flavor with good heat.  Not as exotic but I’ve seen it at Target for $1.22.

Brew yourself a mug of tea, something without caffeine, like one of those ‘Sleepy Time’ brands.  We don’t want to be still be awake when real breakfast time rolls around.

A recent discovery I made is that using butter instead of oil gives the eggs a different flavor.  I prefer eggs cooked with oil.  Eggs cooked with butter look better but they’re also heavier.  They look like eggs you get at breakfast diners.